Well, Monday I went out in the morning and made it 23 of the 25 minutes. I got super tired and sore, all of a sudden, so I decided to take it sown to a brisk walk. Then, not 2 minutes later, I hear, "You only have 5 minutes left!" I knew I could do it. I ran the rest. I'm pretty proud of myself for that one! I'm getting there!
I'm not so much sticking to the schedule now, since I know I'm supposed to run 25 minutes. When I can do that, I'll go to the next week. No matter how many days it takes me!
Today, I woke up to a decent rain and about 40 degrees! I got the kids ready for school/daycare and my husband headed off with them so I could go for my run before my Dr. appt. I thought it looked pretty nasty out, so thought maybe I'd skip the run for today. Then, I checked my email and had a message from my buddy, Lisa. She asked about my progress and encouraged me. I shut off the computer and found my running shoes!
I headed out into the rain. I decided to do my route backwards. Not running backwards, just the reverse order! Anyway, I only made it about 7 or 8 minutes before I needed to stop. The rain actually felt good. I was really anxious and nervous about my minor medical procedure happening later in the morning. I just wasn't focused and couldn't talk myself into it. I did power walk the rest. I felt good to get moving, but know with my 5K this weekend, I should have done more.
I am thinking I may try a shorter run on Saturday, just to see how things feel and get moving. I don't want to be too tired for the run on Sunday. We'll just have to see how I feel. If it's anything like right now, I'll be lucky to make it off the couch. They promised me I should be back to full form by Saturday though. I hope so. I've been working too hard to not be able to do my best! I'm going to be really disappointed if I'm not up to par.
I do realize that this was something I had to have done, and there will be other 5ks, I just feel like I've been working so hard and putting maybe too much pressure on myself to complete this 5k. I need to be able to let it go. It's just after everything I've been through, and everyone saying that I may think I'm better, but I haven't dealt with everything, and eventually it will catch up with me, I wanted to be able to show them, in a concrete way, that I am better. They don't seem to listen when I talk, so maybe my actions will show them. If they see me run across the finish line, they'll know. I also want to prove to myself that I can do it. I have never, ever run before in my life. I am so proud of myself for doing this and working hard and ticking with it. Not being able to complete this 5k because of this procedure won't diminish any of that, but it's just not what I pictured. I saw myself completing this program, being able to run the entire 5k and crossing that finish line with a huge smile on my face.
I WILL complete the 5k on Sunday. I WILL have a smile on my face. I WILL be (and am, now) proud of myself for all the hard work. I WILL.
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Katie! I just found your blog today and read the whole thing! (Today I began the C35K program with Carli's podcast!) It's a month later, please tell me how you have been!
ReplyDeleteI am also 6ft tall. Though I WISH I could be 195lbs! Lol! Hope to hear from you!
Emily
www.emmyredneck.blogspot.com
I didn't realize that my last post didn't actually post!! I was a little suprised that I didn't receive any comments on it, but you know, that happens!!! Anyway, I did my 5k in 40:02. It was about 28degrees that morning, so I thought that wasn't too bad! I was not able to run the whole thing as my lungs were not used to breathing in all that cold air! It had been fairly warm up until then. I actually haven't run since because I and both my children were sick, we're selling our house and I literally have ZERO time. I know these all are excuses, but I'm working on it! Also, I'm having surgery on Dec. 1, so I won't be able to get back to it for a few more weeks. I have a friend who is doind this program too and we're going to restart it together after the new year. Hopefully I'll be all recovered by then.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your support and I hope to continue this journey (and blog about it!) soon! FYI - I have lost a few more pounds. Down to 189 now! Also, you do not look like you are any heavier than me. In your pictures on your blog you are gorgeous!!!
Awww, you're too sweet! But that's only because I only post the photos where I 'don't' look fat. Lol! Which are few and far between!!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear that you've been sick and I hope the surgery isn't for anything aweful! I'll be thinking of you!
I think it's amazing how many people I have met in the past week just through the few running blogs I've read! I love it! You stand out in my mind though because of all you have been through. I read your blog in about a hour or two from start to finish. Today, I had to do the second run of the week for the C25K and had to battle with myself about doing it, but then I thought of you and what you'd been through, and the decision was easy. I need to run because I CAN. Much too often these days I'm being reminded that that luxery can be taken away in a heartbeat.
Anyways... I hope to hear more from you soon! I love your blog! Good luck with your surgery!!!
Emily